War is coming.. Can i handle it?

Tonite is war night.
Keong's bday.
Lets see how fast we can make him drunk.
And looks like everybody has an target.
Huaky gonna aim Sianrong.
Openly declare to him already.
V goh gonna aim Rampa.
Me?
I duno.
Maybe i shouldnt drink that much.
Actually i was hoping they would go blue.
But some of them don't really like the place.
And the drinks are expensive.
So nvm.
The reason i like blue so much is because i have alot of friends there.
The waitress there have become all my good friends there.
They don't treat me like a customer anymore.
Specially ai zhen.
My neighbour,
My Mum no.2.
Like to hang out with her.
Also cared about her.


*******************Continue from the previous post************************
Maybe we shouldn't meet so often.
Seeing each other so often sometimes will feel sian.
No "Xing Xian Gan."
I think i should find some life other then kelly.
Think of it every now and then whatever shit i do or say is related to her.
I m somehow stuck on her.
Monday night we spend the whole night together.
Huaky, Ghost, Kelly and me.
Ate Sake sushi then go Kbox.
After that go HK cafe and eat supper.
When sending her home.
I actually wanted walk her up to her house.
I wanted to tell her..
I wanted to tell her how i feel,
I wanted to tell her how much i liked her,
I wanted to tell her how much i cared about her,
I wanted to tell her how much she mean to me.
But when i drove to the carpark.
She left the car and just walk.
I notice she left something so i went out and called her.
Was thinking this is a good chance to walk her up.
But i din dare.
I back out.
I m such a loser.


I think i really likes her.
I m always thinking about her.
Thinking how to make things better for her so that she can be happy.
Cared about her.
Worried about her.
But i was never mad at her.
Becoz wadeva it is,
Its my fault.
I bring it apon myself.
How m i suppose to get out of this?
Can i?


Was talking to angela just now,
Heard her story,
Abit similar to mine.
So i was telling her.
In my 23yrs of living,
I think i have inspired some people.
My way of thinking, (Sometimes)
My way of doing things. (Sometimes)
My friends used to be dependent on me.
But i want them to be independent.
Now they are independent.
I want everyone around me to be happy.
So i do wadeva they want so they are happy.
I looked independent and happy with these people around.
Infact actually im not.
I also don't know how to explain it.
Maybe from young till now.
I m always alone.
Independent.
Now i want to be dependent on people.
Now I want to be happy.
But things just aint gonna go my way.


to be continue...