Tonite is war night.
Keong's bday.
Lets see how fast we can make him drunk.
And looks like everybody has an target.
Huaky gonna aim Sianrong.
Openly declare to him already.
V goh gonna aim Rampa.
Me?
I duno.
Maybe i shouldnt drink that much.
Actually i was hoping they would go blue.
But some of them don't really like the place.
And the drinks are expensive.
So nvm.
The reason i like blue so much is because i have alot of friends there.
The waitress there have become all my good friends there.
They don't treat me like a customer anymore.
Specially ai zhen.
My neighbour,
My Mum no.2.
Like to hang out with her.
Also cared about her.
*******************Continue from the previous post************************
Maybe we shouldn't meet so often.
Seeing each other so often sometimes will feel sian.
No "Xing Xian Gan."
I think i should find some life other then kelly.
Think of it every now and then whatever shit i do or say is related to her.
I m somehow stuck on her.
Monday night we spend the whole night together.
Huaky, Ghost, Kelly and me.
Ate Sake sushi then go Kbox.
After that go HK cafe and eat supper.
When sending her home.
I actually wanted walk her up to her house.
I wanted to tell her..
I wanted to tell her how i feel,
I wanted to tell her how much i liked her,
I wanted to tell her how much i cared about her,
I wanted to tell her how much she mean to me.
But when i drove to the carpark.
She left the car and just walk.
I notice she left something so i went out and called her.
Was thinking this is a good chance to walk her up.
But i din dare.
I back out.
I m such a loser.
I think i really likes her.
I m always thinking about her.
Thinking how to make things better for her so that she can be happy.
Cared about her.
Worried about her.
But i was never mad at her.
Becoz wadeva it is,
Its my fault.
I bring it apon myself.
How m i suppose to get out of this?
Can i?
Was talking to angela just now,
Heard her story,
Abit similar to mine.
So i was telling her.
In my 23yrs of living,
I think i have inspired some people.
My way of thinking, (Sometimes)
My way of doing things. (Sometimes)
My friends used to be dependent on me.
But i want them to be independent.
Now they are independent.
I want everyone around me to be happy.
So i do wadeva they want so they are happy.
I looked independent and happy with these people around.
Infact actually im not.
I also don't know how to explain it.
Maybe from young till now.
I m always alone.
Independent.
Now i want to be dependent on people.
Now I want to be happy.
But things just aint gonna go my way.
to be continue...
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Deep Thoughts..
Just came back from boat quay.
Not from drinking.
Just send her to work + dinner.
On the way back chat with huaky.
Now i should ask myself.
"Do i love her?"
Like huaky said.
The situation is that,
When she needs me i m there.
When she wants to find someone to talk she can find me.
When she don't need me,
She don't need me.
She treat me as a good friend.
She is very independent.
With me around is just another bonus for her.
When i m around to send her to work then that's good.
If i m not around she can take bus or cab to work herself.
When she needs help financially i m there.
If i m not around she can find someone else.
Sometimes I find that there is not feelings between us.
I m like just feeling up the gaps for her.
People keep saying that,
"At least she is not ignoring you"
"At least we get to spend alot of time with each other"
Yes.
I agree totally.
Like i said previously.
I m happy with what i have now.
But there are times i m not happy too.
I m there to entertain her.
She is there to entertain me.
Ghost told me,
"Sometimes you should not always give it to her"
Huaky also said,
"Sometimes you should keep the ball in your court"
In case next time we are together and i keep the ball in my own court,
She would be unhappy.
But will we be together?
I don't see it coming.
I asked myself.
What is there i m bu fu qi about?
Do i really like her?
Or i just don't want to lose.
I seriously don't know.
I m thinking to come out a scenario,
But will it be effective?
Ai zhen said before,
"Now its not the time to ask her commit."
Then when is the time?
Its now like a routine thing.
I will think of her.
I will miss her.
I will care for her.
Whatever she wants i will give.
But what i really want?
But one thing for sure is that although i treat her as my girlfriend.
I don't regard her as one.
I mean to others i will say she is my friend.
This is a kind of respect i think.
Till the day she accept me i will always regard her as my friend.
I don't want people to think she is my girlfriend becoz this will somehow "hai" her.
I can live without her.
She can live without me.
Our character are so similar that i know what can be done what cannot be done.
We rather lose the chance than getting hurt.
We will only feel "Ke Xi" and not regret.
Alot of times,
We won't know what we really want till we lose it.
Maybe i should find a scandal.
And then i will know what i really want.
Anybody want to be my scandal?
Haha!
I m very shag now.
Yesterday duty din really sleep at all.
Today came home only slept for 2hrs.
Den i was out the whole day.
Don't feel sleepy but i can feel that my body is tired.
I think i m sick.
Not becoz of the duty.
Think its becoz of my long term drinking.
Every now and then when i go shit.
I see blood.
And its lots of blood.
I think my stomach is bleeding.
Whenever i eat something.
My stomach will hurts.
I can't take that so much food already compared to last time.
Whats wrong with me?
Maybe we shouldn't meet so often.
Seeing each other so often sometimes will feel sian.
No "Xing Xian Gan."
I think i should find some life other then kelly.
Think of it every now and then whatever shit i do or say is related to her.
I m somehow stuck on her.
Monday night we spend the whole night together.
Huaky, Ghost, Kelly and me.
Ate Sake sushi then go Kbox.
After that go HK cafe and eat supper.
When sending her home.
I actually wanted walk her up to her house.
I wanted to tell her
Today went to meet my insurance agent leon.
He watched me grew up.
Since i was a kid i knew him.
He and my dad knew each other very long ago.
Chat with him for the afternoon.
Was talking about jobs nowadays.
And asking him to help me look out for jobs which kelly can work.
Kelly again.
LOL.
She ask me what do you think is good for kelly.
I just said any jobs that has a good future.
Good future in the sense you can go far in the future.
Like hair stylist,
Makeup artiste,
Beautician.
All these job the furthest they can go is opening their own shop.
The market is very small.
When you get old your progress will be slower.
These jobs to me are just additional skills which helps to improve me.
We also talk about what m i gonna do after 3yrs or 7yrs.
He asked me what m i comfortable with?
What i really like?
I think to me,
Any work will be alright for me becoz its the environment i m working in important.
If the people around me i m working with is good.
Then i m happy.
If not that's fuck up liao.
I m not someone who wants to get very very rich.
I mean who doesnt wants to get rich.
As long as i have enough to spend,
I m happy.
Maybe win a big sweep/Toto (Group1)/4D (first prize),
That will be enough.
Hehe.
Planning to get a PSP (Pink) today.
But the stock haven come yet.
So ask huaky to help me get it tml.
I think the PSP i get most of the time will be with kelly ba.
Kelly again.
LOL.
I don't know yet.
Play by ear.
After that went to CIP kelvin.
Went to his house to visit him.
He looks fine.
We still got alot of cock to talk.
He show us some good stuff.
He still never change.
Like Ang moh.
LOL.
IPPT coming!!!
Next monday is gonna be my first attempt.
I NEED to clear my IPPT by end april.
Ho seh liao.
I think ask me drink 2 bottle chivas i can do better then running 2.4km.
See who can tong the longest.
Why isn't there endurance.
Why must run so fast?
I m really worried man.
First time take IPPT so scared.
Last time still very confident to pass just that silver is so near yet so far.
AFEW seconds nia.
I can do it this year!
Must sound convincing abit.
I CAN DO IT!
Just finished chit chatting on the phone with huiting.
She is a nice girl.
Talk about her BF,
How fuck up the BF is,
How fucker is the BF,
Talk about Kelly,
Talk about her current job,
Talk about her friends,
Talk about Kelly's friends.
Etc Etc Etc
Ok tired now.
Sian tml no OFF.
Think tml go take halfday afternoon.
Go home sleep and rest.
ARbo SHEE
CIaoz
Not from drinking.
Just send her to work + dinner.
On the way back chat with huaky.
Now i should ask myself.
"Do i love her?"
Like huaky said.
The situation is that,
When she needs me i m there.
When she wants to find someone to talk she can find me.
When she don't need me,
She don't need me.
She treat me as a good friend.
She is very independent.
With me around is just another bonus for her.
When i m around to send her to work then that's good.
If i m not around she can take bus or cab to work herself.
When she needs help financially i m there.
If i m not around she can find someone else.
Sometimes I find that there is not feelings between us.
I m like just feeling up the gaps for her.
People keep saying that,
"At least she is not ignoring you"
"At least we get to spend alot of time with each other"
Yes.
I agree totally.
Like i said previously.
I m happy with what i have now.
But there are times i m not happy too.
I m there to entertain her.
She is there to entertain me.
Ghost told me,
"Sometimes you should not always give it to her"
Huaky also said,
"Sometimes you should keep the ball in your court"
In case next time we are together and i keep the ball in my own court,
She would be unhappy.
But will we be together?
I don't see it coming.
I asked myself.
What is there i m bu fu qi about?
Do i really like her?
Or i just don't want to lose.
I seriously don't know.
I m thinking to come out a scenario,
But will it be effective?
Ai zhen said before,
"Now its not the time to ask her commit."
Then when is the time?
Its now like a routine thing.
I will think of her.
I will miss her.
I will care for her.
Whatever she wants i will give.
But what i really want?
But one thing for sure is that although i treat her as my girlfriend.
I don't regard her as one.
I mean to others i will say she is my friend.
This is a kind of respect i think.
Till the day she accept me i will always regard her as my friend.
I don't want people to think she is my girlfriend becoz this will somehow "hai" her.
I can live without her.
She can live without me.
Our character are so similar that i know what can be done what cannot be done.
We rather lose the chance than getting hurt.
We will only feel "Ke Xi" and not regret.
Alot of times,
We won't know what we really want till we lose it.
Maybe i should find a scandal.
And then i will know what i really want.
Anybody want to be my scandal?
Haha!
I m very shag now.
Yesterday duty din really sleep at all.
Today came home only slept for 2hrs.
Den i was out the whole day.
Don't feel sleepy but i can feel that my body is tired.
I think i m sick.
Not becoz of the duty.
Think its becoz of my long term drinking.
Every now and then when i go shit.
I see blood.
And its lots of blood.
I think my stomach is bleeding.
Whenever i eat something.
My stomach will hurts.
I can't take that so much food already compared to last time.
Whats wrong with me?
Maybe we shouldn't meet so often.
Seeing each other so often sometimes will feel sian.
No "Xing Xian Gan."
I think i should find some life other then kelly.
Think of it every now and then whatever shit i do or say is related to her.
I m somehow stuck on her.
Monday night we spend the whole night together.
Huaky, Ghost, Kelly and me.
Ate Sake sushi then go Kbox.
After that go HK cafe and eat supper.
When sending her home.
I actually wanted walk her up to her house.
I wanted to tell her
Today went to meet my insurance agent leon.
He watched me grew up.
Since i was a kid i knew him.
He and my dad knew each other very long ago.
Chat with him for the afternoon.
Was talking about jobs nowadays.
And asking him to help me look out for jobs which kelly can work.
Kelly again.
LOL.
She ask me what do you think is good for kelly.
I just said any jobs that has a good future.
Good future in the sense you can go far in the future.
Like hair stylist,
Makeup artiste,
Beautician.
All these job the furthest they can go is opening their own shop.
The market is very small.
When you get old your progress will be slower.
These jobs to me are just additional skills which helps to improve me.
We also talk about what m i gonna do after 3yrs or 7yrs.
He asked me what m i comfortable with?
What i really like?
I think to me,
Any work will be alright for me becoz its the environment i m working in important.
If the people around me i m working with is good.
Then i m happy.
If not that's fuck up liao.
I m not someone who wants to get very very rich.
I mean who doesnt wants to get rich.
As long as i have enough to spend,
I m happy.
Maybe win a big sweep/Toto (Group1)/4D (first prize),
That will be enough.
Hehe.
Planning to get a PSP (Pink) today.
But the stock haven come yet.
So ask huaky to help me get it tml.
I think the PSP i get most of the time will be with kelly ba.
Kelly again.
LOL.
I don't know yet.
Play by ear.
After that went to CIP kelvin.
Went to his house to visit him.
He looks fine.
We still got alot of cock to talk.
He show us some good stuff.
He still never change.
Like Ang moh.
LOL.
IPPT coming!!!
Next monday is gonna be my first attempt.
I NEED to clear my IPPT by end april.
Ho seh liao.
I think ask me drink 2 bottle chivas i can do better then running 2.4km.
See who can tong the longest.
Why isn't there endurance.
Why must run so fast?
I m really worried man.
First time take IPPT so scared.
Last time still very confident to pass just that silver is so near yet so far.
AFEW seconds nia.
I can do it this year!
Must sound convincing abit.
I CAN DO IT!
Just finished chit chatting on the phone with huiting.
She is a nice girl.
Talk about her BF,
How fuck up the BF is,
How fucker is the BF,
Talk about Kelly,
Talk about her current job,
Talk about her friends,
Talk about Kelly's friends.
Etc Etc Etc
Ok tired now.
Sian tml no OFF.
Think tml go take halfday afternoon.
Go home sleep and rest.
ARbo SHEE
CIaoz
Sunday, March 25, 2007
England sux~
England Sux!
Cant win isreal with the players they have!!
So many star players.
Pay so high.
Still cant win!!
Like i always say when they say who must win or who comfirm win in the newpaper.
Just bet the opposite and you will win $$.
Watch abit of the match after hell of a war at boat quay.
4 person drank 2 bottles of chivas.
1 KOed.
Im still alive.
Haha
My England sux too.
After being pointed out by huaky.
Den i realise my own mistake.
I don't even know i wrote that!!
Haha lucky it was edited arbo paiseh.
Anyway was hell of a week.
Long time no go work like that.
Wed and thurs on course.
Friday went back to work after so long.
Friday night go TCC la kopi.
Quite shiok la kopi at there.
Almost fall aslp.
Ghost, Sianrong, How Hao How Hao and huaky was there.
Talk cock till 12+.
Can say almost everyday i m meeting kelly for dinner or buy dinner for her then send her to work.
Good hor?
Haha..
Heard from huaky that his sister-in-law was talking about me.
Saying how good i m.
And what a good bunch of brothers i have too.
Doing all the things for me when i need them.
Its like that.
Even when each and everyone's bday.
We know what he wants.
No matter whats the price, i will still get it for him.
I do things be it the good way or bad way i just want to get the thing done and u happy.
Huaky also told me he dreamt of me and kelly.
Like i climb up 2-3 stories high to get a rose for kelly,
Everyone was below watching me,
Kinda dangerous doh,
All our friends,
Kelly's friends,
Ai zhen etc.
So i climb up and got the rose and ask kelly to be my girlfriend from the top.
Everyone was telling her to accept me.
She finally agreed with a very touched look and shy look.
I jump down from the top and gave the rose to her.
Plant a kiss on her cheek too.
Haha LOMANTIC rite?
But its a dream.
To be dreams can never come true.
My dreams never come true.
I don't know about yours.
Sometimes when i talk to her..
I don't know is she aware of it or what.
Somethings she says is like indirectly telling me she don't like me.
But sometimes when i m in deep thoughts.
Keeping quiet not speaking.
She will come and ask me whats wrong with me.
Yesterday went blue to drink with my colleagues.
I told kelly.
My target to drink 2 bottles.
But when the people turn up.
Planned was 10+.
As times go by become 8.
Actual turn up.. 4
+ huaky and hao how hao how.
total 6.
But only 4 drinking.
So kelly was telling me we sure cannot drink till the 2nd bottle.
So i tell kelly.
If i can do it will you be my girlfriend?
She say she wont betray her body becoz of alchohol.
Nvm.
I say can means can.
I drank quite alot becoz every mouth i drink was half glass by half glass.
Vomitted 4 times.
Got 1 time kenny(bartender) was behind peeing.
So he was asking me about me and kelly.
Whether we are together or what.
I just said kelly don't want relationship at the moment.
Then when back to blue he go ask kelly something.
I also don't know what is he up to.
Then he come tell me kelly just broke up with the bf not long ago before i know her.
I was like oh ok..
then i go make kenny drink.
Haha icthy mouth.
thats for kelly.
After that jio Ah Kim or Ah King drink.
angela go pour damn thick for his drink.
He not that stupid to drink that.
So he keep asking me who did it.
I just tell him angela pour the first one but someone else add in more.
Also saw Ah Kay there.
He come confronted me regarding the last time.
Its true he said something to kelly.
Which indirectly causes the incident.
But its over..
What to do.
He also asked me something.
Did i tell cindy that he don't like her becoz she very ah lian and he likes snowbell.
I din.
Guys and guys stuff why go tell girls.
So he was asking about me and kelly how.
I just shake my head and walked away to prevent anything from happening again.
About 2am.
We manage to finish the first bottle.
Then kick start our 2nd bottle.
Finally met my target.
I said i will do it.
Then i will do it.
Gary very good drinker.
Haha but at least i seen him vomit.
I m the only one seen him vomit!!
Tem drank quite alot in the beginning but he is driving so he stopped at about 1+.
So Pang was our target.
First becoz he told me kenny looks like his primary school and secondary school friend.
But he don't know whether is it him.
So i go ask kenny.
Kenny say he know Pang.
And come suan me.
NNB di siao siao me.
Make kenny drink again.
Den since i sending Pang home.
Might as well make him drunk arbo meaningless.
At first want to aim Ah Ong or Chee mun one.
But they put aeroplane.
So..
Paiseh Pang.
But i won't let Ah Ong off.
Farker put aeroplane.
Not bad after drinking so much i still can drive to huaky's place.
Knock out at huaky place at 5am.
Shag!
But thanks to huaky and hao how hao how there to help me send pang home and taking care of me.
Hee.
Kum sia kum sia.
That night was what a hell of a night realli.
Saw ai zhen crying.
Saw angela drunk.
Saw joey trying to be a scandal.
Heard from huaky his Pitstop colleague say i yandao sia.
Haha song.
Maybe becoz i was wearing contact lens and a jacket ba.
And its like since CNY i haven really drink in boat quay.
Its a warm up for next week.
Keong's bday.
1 thing i notice is when i drink.
I gain more courage.
Courage to do more things.
Say more things.
Haha.
But i will still get fed up at times.
I asked how hao how hao.
M i realli that bad?
Sometimes i m realli tired.
But i don't want to give up.
Becoz after so much i have done.
Giving up is like a wasted.
all the effort has become wasted.
And that shows i m a loser once again.
Even tem also ask me to ask her "you treat me like a clown izzit?"
L O L.
I also don't know.
Sometimes its gd to be a clown too.
At least it entertains.
Kinda tired now already..
Better get some sleep.
Good night~
Cant win isreal with the players they have!!
So many star players.
Pay so high.
Still cant win!!
Like i always say when they say who must win or who comfirm win in the newpaper.
Just bet the opposite and you will win $$.
Watch abit of the match after hell of a war at boat quay.
4 person drank 2 bottles of chivas.
1 KOed.
Im still alive.
Haha
My England sux too.
After being pointed out by huaky.
Den i realise my own mistake.
I don't even know i wrote that!!
Haha lucky it was edited arbo paiseh.
Anyway was hell of a week.
Long time no go work like that.
Wed and thurs on course.
Friday went back to work after so long.
Friday night go TCC la kopi.
Quite shiok la kopi at there.
Almost fall aslp.
Ghost, Sianrong, How Hao How Hao and huaky was there.
Talk cock till 12+.
Can say almost everyday i m meeting kelly for dinner or buy dinner for her then send her to work.
Good hor?
Haha..
Heard from huaky that his sister-in-law was talking about me.
Saying how good i m.
And what a good bunch of brothers i have too.
Doing all the things for me when i need them.
Its like that.
Even when each and everyone's bday.
We know what he wants.
No matter whats the price, i will still get it for him.
I do things be it the good way or bad way i just want to get the thing done and u happy.
Huaky also told me he dreamt of me and kelly.
Like i climb up 2-3 stories high to get a rose for kelly,
Everyone was below watching me,
Kinda dangerous doh,
All our friends,
Kelly's friends,
Ai zhen etc.
So i climb up and got the rose and ask kelly to be my girlfriend from the top.
Everyone was telling her to accept me.
She finally agreed with a very touched look and shy look.
I jump down from the top and gave the rose to her.
Plant a kiss on her cheek too.
Haha LOMANTIC rite?
But its a dream.
To be dreams can never come true.
My dreams never come true.
I don't know about yours.
Sometimes when i talk to her..
I don't know is she aware of it or what.
Somethings she says is like indirectly telling me she don't like me.
But sometimes when i m in deep thoughts.
Keeping quiet not speaking.
She will come and ask me whats wrong with me.
Yesterday went blue to drink with my colleagues.
I told kelly.
My target to drink 2 bottles.
But when the people turn up.
Planned was 10+.
As times go by become 8.
Actual turn up.. 4
+ huaky and hao how hao how.
total 6.
But only 4 drinking.
So kelly was telling me we sure cannot drink till the 2nd bottle.
So i tell kelly.
If i can do it will you be my girlfriend?
She say she wont betray her body becoz of alchohol.
Nvm.
I say can means can.
I drank quite alot becoz every mouth i drink was half glass by half glass.
Vomitted 4 times.
Got 1 time kenny(bartender) was behind peeing.
So he was asking me about me and kelly.
Whether we are together or what.
I just said kelly don't want relationship at the moment.
Then when back to blue he go ask kelly something.
I also don't know what is he up to.
Then he come tell me kelly just broke up with the bf not long ago before i know her.
I was like oh ok..
then i go make kenny drink.
Haha icthy mouth.
thats for kelly.
After that jio Ah Kim or Ah King drink.
angela go pour damn thick for his drink.
He not that stupid to drink that.
So he keep asking me who did it.
I just tell him angela pour the first one but someone else add in more.
Also saw Ah Kay there.
He come confronted me regarding the last time.
Its true he said something to kelly.
Which indirectly causes the incident.
But its over..
What to do.
He also asked me something.
Did i tell cindy that he don't like her becoz she very ah lian and he likes snowbell.
I din.
Guys and guys stuff why go tell girls.
So he was asking about me and kelly how.
I just shake my head and walked away to prevent anything from happening again.
About 2am.
We manage to finish the first bottle.
Then kick start our 2nd bottle.
Finally met my target.
I said i will do it.
Then i will do it.
Gary very good drinker.
Haha but at least i seen him vomit.
I m the only one seen him vomit!!
Tem drank quite alot in the beginning but he is driving so he stopped at about 1+.
So Pang was our target.
First becoz he told me kenny looks like his primary school and secondary school friend.
But he don't know whether is it him.
So i go ask kenny.
Kenny say he know Pang.
And come suan me.
NNB di siao siao me.
Make kenny drink again.
Den since i sending Pang home.
Might as well make him drunk arbo meaningless.
At first want to aim Ah Ong or Chee mun one.
But they put aeroplane.
So..
Paiseh Pang.
But i won't let Ah Ong off.
Farker put aeroplane.
Not bad after drinking so much i still can drive to huaky's place.
Knock out at huaky place at 5am.
Shag!
But thanks to huaky and hao how hao how there to help me send pang home and taking care of me.
Hee.
Kum sia kum sia.
That night was what a hell of a night realli.
Saw ai zhen crying.
Saw angela drunk.
Saw joey trying to be a scandal.
Heard from huaky his Pitstop colleague say i yandao sia.
Haha song.
Maybe becoz i was wearing contact lens and a jacket ba.
And its like since CNY i haven really drink in boat quay.
Its a warm up for next week.
Keong's bday.
1 thing i notice is when i drink.
I gain more courage.
Courage to do more things.
Say more things.
Haha.
But i will still get fed up at times.
I asked how hao how hao.
M i realli that bad?
Sometimes i m realli tired.
But i don't want to give up.
Becoz after so much i have done.
Giving up is like a wasted.
all the effort has become wasted.
And that shows i m a loser once again.
Even tem also ask me to ask her "you treat me like a clown izzit?"
L O L.
I also don't know.
Sometimes its gd to be a clown too.
At least it entertains.
Kinda tired now already..
Better get some sleep.
Good night~
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Lets FACE IT!
Yeah yeah i m complaining again.
Whats new right?
I m always complaining..
Ok lets face it.
Recently i m feeling kinda low.
Its been within me for quite sometime.
I wanna go crazy already.
whats the reason?
I think u should know.
I have been saying..
I m losing it..
I m losing it..
I m losing it..
I m losing it..
LOSING WHAT?
I m losing kelly.
I just had this feeling.
Can slowly fill the gap.
Ok i might tell u i and her how good how good
but the fact that
its there!
lets FACE IT.
I just trying to make myself happy
And the people around me to know i m fine.
Sometimes i really felt like a loser.
a Loser in relationships.
So many years le.
Even Kelvin also say me every since he knew me he haven seen me had a stable relationship.
Think back i m really a loser.
Whats the problem with me?
What did i do wrong?
I really "Bu Fu Qi"!
Jiahua said before "Why can't i just find a normal girl?"
Maybe its my taste.
But if i really can find a normal girl i also want.
But i can't!
Sucks right?
But i don't want to be a loser!
Thats why till now i still have not gave up on her.
Although i can't see much light in the tunnel.
I m still running forward.
Never give up.
If i give up means i lose.
I know everyone is not in a good mood right now.
Sianrong,Faith & Jiahua.
So whats wrong with them?
Its not faith's fault i said that many times.
Jiahua?
I also don't know.
Maybe its the things he said.
But theres nothing wrong voicing out when people asked you to.
Sianrong?
The person in the middle.
So izzit his fault?
I also don't know.
I just felt he din handle it well enough.
Like i told faith.
Sometimes you and your gd friend talk about somethings.
And its mend to be between you and your gd friends all girls.
And your gd friend go tell some other people you don't want them to know.
And those people doesn't reflect good on you.
How would you feel?
Like me and jiahua and kong and v goh.
Whatever we said.
Its between us.
YES.
They might tell their girlfriends.
I might tell kelly.
But we tell them in some other ways which doesn't get them into trouble.
We filter some information off.
Its just like forwarding a email to someone saying FYI (For Your Info) only!!
No actions or reply needed.
Its just like you in camp.
You and your PC very good.
Good friend.
And you go tell your PC "i think that PC si beh fucker".
And you wont expect your PC go tell the other PC about it rite?
What the PC can do is to hint the other PC that the things he did wasnt quite right.
It might cause disharmony.
Thats call filtering.
I cannot say its totally sianrong's fault.
Its just the wrong things at the wrong time.
Wrong words at the wrong sentences.
Wrong stuff to the wrong person.
And thats him.
Always makes mistakes.
Buts its ok.
As long as he don't steps on my tail can already.
I don't care who is the fucker or fuckie.
As long as you don't fuck around in my farm can already.
Ok i m kinda cool now.
The steam is out.
Feeling ABIT better only.
Maybe i shouldnt think that much.
Things will be better.
When she needs me she will find me.
Because i'll always be there for her.
I should really find something to do to keep myself occupied.
I really need to find another job in order to save more $.
That day i was telling my father i hope to get married early.
My father shoot me.
You got what to get married.
Ya what i got to get married?
I got nothing.
Savings getting lesser and lesser.
I also don't want it.
What can i do to earn more $?
What can i do to make kelly like me?
What can i do to make everyone happy?
Like i said i think i need to find another job but what job ?
I think i wanna try something different on kelly.
I wanna tell kelly can i woo her from the start again?
I think i should ask everyone out and had a drink to solve all the problems.
Because i know we are not Kay Gao people.
Problems can be solve.
Lets FACE IT!
We are good friends.
Pride is the only thing getting in our way.
Throw away your "mian zi" and say it out.
Things will be fine.
"Mian Zi" 1 KG how much?
Right?
I only know Mian Feng market sell 1KG $5.
I think nia..
Anyhow smoke one.
Lastly...
Keong!!
Your DOOMSDAY is coming!!
The brothers of destruction is here.
I make sure i smell martell!!
Mess with me.
Mess with my big cannon.
Try me.
I will make you DRUNK!
Whats new right?
I m always complaining..
Ok lets face it.
Recently i m feeling kinda low.
Its been within me for quite sometime.
I wanna go crazy already.
whats the reason?
I think u should know.
I have been saying..
I m losing it..
I m losing it..
I m losing it..
I m losing it..
LOSING WHAT?
I m losing kelly.
I just had this feeling.
Can slowly fill the gap.
Ok i might tell u i and her how good how good
but the fact that
its there!
lets FACE IT.
I just trying to make myself happy
And the people around me to know i m fine.
Sometimes i really felt like a loser.
a Loser in relationships.
So many years le.
Even Kelvin also say me every since he knew me he haven seen me had a stable relationship.
Think back i m really a loser.
Whats the problem with me?
What did i do wrong?
I really "Bu Fu Qi"!
Jiahua said before "Why can't i just find a normal girl?"
Maybe its my taste.
But if i really can find a normal girl i also want.
But i can't!
Sucks right?
But i don't want to be a loser!
Thats why till now i still have not gave up on her.
Although i can't see much light in the tunnel.
I m still running forward.
Never give up.
If i give up means i lose.
I know everyone is not in a good mood right now.
Sianrong,Faith & Jiahua.
So whats wrong with them?
Its not faith's fault i said that many times.
Jiahua?
I also don't know.
Maybe its the things he said.
But theres nothing wrong voicing out when people asked you to.
Sianrong?
The person in the middle.
So izzit his fault?
I also don't know.
I just felt he din handle it well enough.
Like i told faith.
Sometimes you and your gd friend talk about somethings.
And its mend to be between you and your gd friends all girls.
And your gd friend go tell some other people you don't want them to know.
And those people doesn't reflect good on you.
How would you feel?
Like me and jiahua and kong and v goh.
Whatever we said.
Its between us.
YES.
They might tell their girlfriends.
I might tell kelly.
But we tell them in some other ways which doesn't get them into trouble.
We filter some information off.
Its just like forwarding a email to someone saying FYI (For Your Info) only!!
No actions or reply needed.
Its just like you in camp.
You and your PC very good.
Good friend.
And you go tell your PC "i think that PC si beh fucker".
And you wont expect your PC go tell the other PC about it rite?
What the PC can do is to hint the other PC that the things he did wasnt quite right.
It might cause disharmony.
Thats call filtering.
I cannot say its totally sianrong's fault.
Its just the wrong things at the wrong time.
Wrong words at the wrong sentences.
Wrong stuff to the wrong person.
And thats him.
Always makes mistakes.
Buts its ok.
As long as he don't steps on my tail can already.
I don't care who is the fucker or fuckie.
As long as you don't fuck around in my farm can already.
Ok i m kinda cool now.
The steam is out.
Feeling ABIT better only.
Maybe i shouldnt think that much.
Things will be better.
When she needs me she will find me.
Because i'll always be there for her.
I should really find something to do to keep myself occupied.
I really need to find another job in order to save more $.
That day i was telling my father i hope to get married early.
My father shoot me.
You got what to get married.
Ya what i got to get married?
I got nothing.
Savings getting lesser and lesser.
I also don't want it.
What can i do to earn more $?
What can i do to make kelly like me?
What can i do to make everyone happy?
Like i said i think i need to find another job but what job ?
I think i wanna try something different on kelly.
I wanna tell kelly can i woo her from the start again?
I think i should ask everyone out and had a drink to solve all the problems.
Because i know we are not Kay Gao people.
Problems can be solve.
Lets FACE IT!
We are good friends.
Pride is the only thing getting in our way.
Throw away your "mian zi" and say it out.
Things will be fine.
"Mian Zi" 1 KG how much?
Right?
I only know Mian Feng market sell 1KG $5.
I think nia..
Anyhow smoke one.
Lastly...
Keong!!
Your DOOMSDAY is coming!!
The brothers of destruction is here.
I make sure i smell martell!!
Mess with me.
Mess with my big cannon.
Try me.
I will make you DRUNK!
Monday, March 19, 2007
Thinking Back...
Yo Yo Yo~
Guess where m i right now..
I m now in camp surfing my duty.
Nothing to do so lend the inet machine with a 29inch LCD wide screen monitor to blog.
Quite shiok to have 1 29inch LCD wide screen monitor.
Anyway just came back from PEE.
And just finish watching "Yi Gong Shen Yan Lei"
Alot of Gan Chu.
Thinking back...
Recently have been hanging out with huaky alot..
Think back when we first met each other..
I actually don't like him.
He look wierd,
He sounds wierd,
And i think he had a very serious attitude problem.
I still remember when we go home together walking across the brigde,
I was behind telling v goh and kong that this guy infront of me "fucker! attitude problem!"
Haha..
And my first impression to him?
No.1 ah beng.
With my red NAGAYAMA japan t-shirt.
And a super baggy jeans.
Super long hair.
For these few years i should say we learnt alot from each other.
I m not what i m used to be.
He is not he is used to be too.
The way we think changes as times goes by.
Kinda similar in 1 way or the other.
Without him i m not what i m now.
Seeing him now makes me think back will he be what he is now if we din met each other.
Kind of proud of my friends now.
One thing hasnt changed.
I m still very pestimistic.
Optimistic about my life,
Relationship,
My future.
I always think of the worst case that can happen.
Maybe i should say i m preparing for the worst.
Becoz i don't have any confidence in myself.
Maybe the only time i have confidence is with my friends.
The legendary Kelvin.
I should say the longest secondary school friend i known.
Sec 1 same class.
Last time i always bully him.
Till he complain to his mother and come sch complain to teacher to make us kena.
Hate him last time.
Selfish.
But we still did alot of things together.
Still remember he taught me how to play CS.
Till the stage i m better then him.
Muahahaha.
But without him i wont be that good.
Although we quarrel alot.
Or i should say which friend don't quarrel?
We are still as good.
Talk alot of cock.
share alot of things.
Now looking at him.
After the accident he still can talk cock really respect.
Ghost queen..
Faith..
I kinda like her as a friend sometimes.
Maybe because she actually praise her friends.
Sometimes she said good things about me.
Which makes me feel good.
Ask yourself how many times u apprieciate your friends?
how many times u praise your friends?
To me.
I rarely.
But i heard alot from her.
I know thats not fake.
Still remember last time,
I very very bad temper.
Abit abit i will scold people.
Secondary School worst.
Chao Ah Beng!!
Always get into quarrel or fight.
Every month at least 1 fight.
Nothing to do go shopping centre sian char bor.
Arbo see ppl buay song ask he from where.
Toh Loh Eh Lang.
Those were the days.
Now i those things i think its childish.
Happen once to me before.
In zen.
That time tot i stare at him.
In the end threaten me not to go boat quay see me wuack me.
"I SO SCARE?!?!"
My first thinking is i don't want trouble.
If i m not a regular i make sure u won't stand again.
In the end i just say sorry or whatever he asked for.
After knowing i m 23yrs old.
I think the guy thinks how childish he is.
I always think.
In singapore being an ah beng.
What can u achieve in life?
You beat someone up?
You killed someone?
You manage to sell 100 pirated VCD?
You become bookie and u lose $ and run away?
In singapore without a stable job.
You cant give your family good life.
Maybe yes for this family but for your childrens?
Yesterday slept at 4am in the morning.
Was watching world trade centre.
Quite a nice show.
Although starting they kena trap underground already.
But it shows how the family keep those people alive when they are trapped.
Mental support is very important.
I always like to put myself into situation.
What if this happens to me?
What if i m the one trapped there.
Can i survive out?
My ans is depends on the people out there.
How much they need me.
How much they want me.
Given the state now.
The only person i can think of is kelly.
As for my friends and families.
I think they dun need me.
Because they can take care of themself without me.
But for kelly.
I WANT TO take care of her.
Thats why.
But things might changed when u are really in that situation.
I always think..
what if one day i kena a serious illness.
No cure for it.
Watever i think it will be for the one i love.
another thing is..
Is letting go the best choice?
Alot of times i see tv they always say if you love the person letting her go is the best way.
What if you let her go and she met someone else and she got cheated or she suffered?
Thats why i don't believe in letting go.
Its either i hate this person or i like this person.
Its either this person is a good friend or this person is a slut/bitch/bastard.
To me everybody is a good friend.
I treat everybody good.
I m just trying to live without regrets.
I always think what if i don't wake up the next morning?
Will i regret?
I don't know yet.
You all must be thinking why i think so much.
I like to keep thinking of many many things so that my brain is still functioning.
And the more i think the more i see the smarter i m.
Smarter in way i see thru alot of things.
If i don't think so much.
I doubt i will be the person i m now.
I won't be able to learn so much things.
I won't be able to see so much things.
I won't be able to understand so much things.
And become stupid.
Alot of times i rather act stupid then clever.
Because i believe letting your guard down against someone leaves some weakpoints visible to you.
Abit chim right?
Muahahha go read some "Sun Zi Ping Fa" ba.
Alrite folks.
Thats all for my duty.
Time to sleep.
Might edit if i feel like it.
Thanks for reading my boring and lame and full of complains and thinking shit.
Just like my blog.
Its a place full of shit.
~*Jacky & John*~
~*I think i really starting to feel i m losing it*~
Guess where m i right now..
I m now in camp surfing my duty.
Nothing to do so lend the inet machine with a 29inch LCD wide screen monitor to blog.
Quite shiok to have 1 29inch LCD wide screen monitor.
Anyway just came back from PEE.
And just finish watching "Yi Gong Shen Yan Lei"
Alot of Gan Chu.
Thinking back...
Recently have been hanging out with huaky alot..
Think back when we first met each other..
I actually don't like him.
He look wierd,
He sounds wierd,
And i think he had a very serious attitude problem.
I still remember when we go home together walking across the brigde,
I was behind telling v goh and kong that this guy infront of me "fucker! attitude problem!"
Haha..
And my first impression to him?
No.1 ah beng.
With my red NAGAYAMA japan t-shirt.
And a super baggy jeans.
Super long hair.
For these few years i should say we learnt alot from each other.
I m not what i m used to be.
He is not he is used to be too.
The way we think changes as times goes by.
Kinda similar in 1 way or the other.
Without him i m not what i m now.
Seeing him now makes me think back will he be what he is now if we din met each other.
Kind of proud of my friends now.
One thing hasnt changed.
I m still very pestimistic.
Optimistic about my life,
Relationship,
My future.
I always think of the worst case that can happen.
Maybe i should say i m preparing for the worst.
Becoz i don't have any confidence in myself.
Maybe the only time i have confidence is with my friends.
The legendary Kelvin.
I should say the longest secondary school friend i known.
Sec 1 same class.
Last time i always bully him.
Till he complain to his mother and come sch complain to teacher to make us kena.
Hate him last time.
Selfish.
But we still did alot of things together.
Still remember he taught me how to play CS.
Till the stage i m better then him.
Muahahaha.
But without him i wont be that good.
Although we quarrel alot.
Or i should say which friend don't quarrel?
We are still as good.
Talk alot of cock.
share alot of things.
Now looking at him.
After the accident he still can talk cock really respect.
Ghost queen..
Faith..
I kinda like her as a friend sometimes.
Maybe because she actually praise her friends.
Sometimes she said good things about me.
Which makes me feel good.
Ask yourself how many times u apprieciate your friends?
how many times u praise your friends?
To me.
I rarely.
But i heard alot from her.
I know thats not fake.
Still remember last time,
I very very bad temper.
Abit abit i will scold people.
Secondary School worst.
Chao Ah Beng!!
Always get into quarrel or fight.
Every month at least 1 fight.
Nothing to do go shopping centre sian char bor.
Arbo see ppl buay song ask he from where.
Toh Loh Eh Lang.
Those were the days.
Now i those things i think its childish.
Happen once to me before.
In zen.
That time tot i stare at him.
In the end threaten me not to go boat quay see me wuack me.
"I SO SCARE?!?!"
My first thinking is i don't want trouble.
If i m not a regular i make sure u won't stand again.
In the end i just say sorry or whatever he asked for.
After knowing i m 23yrs old.
I think the guy thinks how childish he is.
I always think.
In singapore being an ah beng.
What can u achieve in life?
You beat someone up?
You killed someone?
You manage to sell 100 pirated VCD?
You become bookie and u lose $ and run away?
In singapore without a stable job.
You cant give your family good life.
Maybe yes for this family but for your childrens?
Yesterday slept at 4am in the morning.
Was watching world trade centre.
Quite a nice show.
Although starting they kena trap underground already.
But it shows how the family keep those people alive when they are trapped.
Mental support is very important.
I always like to put myself into situation.
What if this happens to me?
What if i m the one trapped there.
Can i survive out?
My ans is depends on the people out there.
How much they need me.
How much they want me.
Given the state now.
The only person i can think of is kelly.
As for my friends and families.
I think they dun need me.
Because they can take care of themself without me.
But for kelly.
I WANT TO take care of her.
Thats why.
But things might changed when u are really in that situation.
I always think..
what if one day i kena a serious illness.
No cure for it.
Watever i think it will be for the one i love.
another thing is..
Is letting go the best choice?
Alot of times i see tv they always say if you love the person letting her go is the best way.
What if you let her go and she met someone else and she got cheated or she suffered?
Thats why i don't believe in letting go.
Its either i hate this person or i like this person.
Its either this person is a good friend or this person is a slut/bitch/bastard.
To me everybody is a good friend.
I treat everybody good.
I m just trying to live without regrets.
I always think what if i don't wake up the next morning?
Will i regret?
I don't know yet.
You all must be thinking why i think so much.
I like to keep thinking of many many things so that my brain is still functioning.
And the more i think the more i see the smarter i m.
Smarter in way i see thru alot of things.
If i don't think so much.
I doubt i will be the person i m now.
I won't be able to learn so much things.
I won't be able to see so much things.
I won't be able to understand so much things.
And become stupid.
Alot of times i rather act stupid then clever.
Because i believe letting your guard down against someone leaves some weakpoints visible to you.
Abit chim right?
Muahahha go read some "Sun Zi Ping Fa" ba.
Alrite folks.
Thats all for my duty.
Time to sleep.
Might edit if i feel like it.
Thanks for reading my boring and lame and full of complains and thinking shit.
Just like my blog.
Its a place full of shit.
~*Jacky & John*~
~*I think i really starting to feel i m losing it*~
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Lost..
Lately i felt kinda lost.
Cant seems to concentrate.
Issit i too tired?
I don't know.
Till now she still gives me some negative responds.
Trying to tell she don't like me.
M i really that jialat?
Just now when sending her to work.
I was telling her ever since she said i had a young look.
I went to shin bar i kena check IC.
I went to buy 4D i also kena check IC.
Guess what she told me?
She told me other than i had a young look.
The way i talk also sounds young.
So i asked her izzit my voice?
She said the things i said.
What is she trying to say?
And i told her i was going blue for awhile to wait for huaky.
The next thing she told me is why not you go pitstop find huaky instead of going blue.
Waste $.
Is she realli concern about the $ part or just don't want to see me there?
Hai..
Nvm.
Yesterday went to far east to collect her jeans and skirt.
Went there too late and the shop is closed.
So take dinner at the Da Chang Jin restraunt together with her and ghost.
The dinner is good except for the rice cake cmi.
During dinner, i think we really are like couples.
I believe even ghost think so too.
I also don't know.
But the dinner is expensive.
3 Person cost me $85++.
Shag!
Think back this whole week was quite havoc.
Going home almost every night.
Going changi village almost every night.
Tired.
Manage to sleep till 2+ 3 in the afternoon just now.
Haven had such a long sleep already.
Shiok!
Recently the hot topic is hao how hao how scandal.
Daniel Ong!!
Not the DJ.
Don't know whats wrong with this guy.
Keep msging hao how hao how at night asking her out or asking her what is she doing.
Trying to flirt.
And He even knows she got a bf.
Hmmmmm..
Must give him a 1 time good time next time.
Make him drink.
Bo Shee Bo Sua!
Recently Overheard huaky had a chat with Sianrong.
Also don't know whats wrong with Sianrong.
This 2 couples (huaky & hao yun + faith & siangrong) like cannot get along with each other like that.
They like playing Internal affiars 4 like that.
I don't like to see friends cannot get along.
Sometimes everyone must learn how to compromise each other.
Give and take.
Not everybody is perfect.
Not everybody is big fuck.
As long as they are happy with it then fine.
Just finished a round of mj session and kong house.
Vgoh, Kong, Hao how hao how and me.
Guess whose the winner?
.
.
.
V goh?
.
.
.
.
Kong?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Me? Hahaha
.
.
.
.
.
.
Its Hao How Hao How!
1 person win $20+
3 others lose.
So sad.
First time see kong lose till so jialat.
Sad!
Its 3.07am now.
I m not sleeping yet.
Want to know why?
I m thinking whether i should go pick up kelly anot.
But i m afriad she might want to go chiong.
And i m quite shag now.
It has been long since i last send her home.
I like the feeling of sending her to work and home.
At least i know i m doing something for her.
Lost..
I m starting to lose something within me to her..
I dun dare to face it..
whats that something...
Cant seems to concentrate.
Issit i too tired?
I don't know.
Till now she still gives me some negative responds.
Trying to tell she don't like me.
M i really that jialat?
Just now when sending her to work.
I was telling her ever since she said i had a young look.
I went to shin bar i kena check IC.
I went to buy 4D i also kena check IC.
Guess what she told me?
She told me other than i had a young look.
The way i talk also sounds young.
So i asked her izzit my voice?
She said the things i said.
What is she trying to say?
And i told her i was going blue for awhile to wait for huaky.
The next thing she told me is why not you go pitstop find huaky instead of going blue.
Waste $.
Is she realli concern about the $ part or just don't want to see me there?
Hai..
Nvm.
Yesterday went to far east to collect her jeans and skirt.
Went there too late and the shop is closed.
So take dinner at the Da Chang Jin restraunt together with her and ghost.
The dinner is good except for the rice cake cmi.
During dinner, i think we really are like couples.
I believe even ghost think so too.
I also don't know.
But the dinner is expensive.
3 Person cost me $85++.
Shag!
Think back this whole week was quite havoc.
Going home almost every night.
Going changi village almost every night.
Tired.
Manage to sleep till 2+ 3 in the afternoon just now.
Haven had such a long sleep already.
Shiok!
Recently the hot topic is hao how hao how scandal.
Daniel Ong!!
Not the DJ.
Don't know whats wrong with this guy.
Keep msging hao how hao how at night asking her out or asking her what is she doing.
Trying to flirt.
And He even knows she got a bf.
Hmmmmm..
Must give him a 1 time good time next time.
Make him drink.
Bo Shee Bo Sua!
Recently Overheard huaky had a chat with Sianrong.
Also don't know whats wrong with Sianrong.
This 2 couples (huaky & hao yun + faith & siangrong) like cannot get along with each other like that.
They like playing Internal affiars 4 like that.
I don't like to see friends cannot get along.
Sometimes everyone must learn how to compromise each other.
Give and take.
Not everybody is perfect.
Not everybody is big fuck.
As long as they are happy with it then fine.
Just finished a round of mj session and kong house.
Vgoh, Kong, Hao how hao how and me.
Guess whose the winner?
.
.
.
V goh?
.
.
.
.
Kong?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Me? Hahaha
.
.
.
.
.
.
Its Hao How Hao How!
1 person win $20+
3 others lose.
So sad.
First time see kong lose till so jialat.
Sad!
Its 3.07am now.
I m not sleeping yet.
Want to know why?
I m thinking whether i should go pick up kelly anot.
But i m afriad she might want to go chiong.
And i m quite shag now.
It has been long since i last send her home.
I like the feeling of sending her to work and home.
At least i know i m doing something for her.
Lost..
I m starting to lose something within me to her..
I dun dare to face it..
whats that something...
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
She is my mountain.
Love is like a mountain,
hard to climb,
but once you get to the top,
the view is beautiful.
Right now i m climbing a very very high and steep mountain.
By climbing this far i m more than happy.
I don't know how long do i take to climb up this mountain.
And can i climb till the top.
But I know if i fall,
I will definately be hurt deeply.
Sunday a friend told me something like this..
"Seems like everything in your life is just her"
"Everything you think and you do is for her"
I agreed totally.
She gave me a new target in life.
No matter what.
She can treat me as a good friend,
a normal friend,
or even a stranger.
I will still treat her as my girlfriend.
Becoz i love her.
Don't feel pity about me.
Don't stress her about us.
As long as you think she is good.
We are suitable for each other.
Just treat her as my girlfriend.
M i talking the right thing?
I wonder...
Went JB on monday.
Din manage to show anything for myself.
Bought a Axis tiger shoe for linus.
Bought a red colour crown jacket for Kelly.
Thats all.
Den went for a "Hakka Gong Hui Dinner" at night.
There was some bidding going on.
Quite interesting.
Imagine 5 packets of rice kena bid till RM23,000.
Power~
It was said that the 5 packet of rice contains rices from 100 house of families.
It will bless ur family for 5 generations.
This is the place where we see those rich ppl spend their $$.
And seriously i wanna go check their accounts how come they are so freaking rich.
Haha.
I was more entertain by the girls there.
Some of the girls there look aint bad.
Lookable.
Hehe.
Recently saw our ghost friend very moody like that.
Like quite sad.
Duno what happen to her.
Din wanna ask also.
Sad things affects people.
Hehe.
So if u wanna feel happy dun come here and read what i write becoz i only writes things sad things.
Haha.
Anyway our dear ghost friend is quite a friend of mine.
Although she is quite chao kuan at times.
Chut some pattern.
But thats her.
Who doesnt chut pattern.
Everyone does.
Its just the matter of how big and serious your pattern is.
Everybody makes mistakes.
I also make alot of mistakes.
Its just how you learn from your mistakes.
Some people might have some unhappiness over her.
I think some people also dun like me.
The way i do things the way i speak.
So..
To me i m neutural about her.
Sometimes might complain about it but end of the day no hard feelings.
She is someone who u can talk to at times.
Hope she is fine.
Lets enjoy some youtube movie.
First is the typical indian movie by our legendary kelvin.
Not bad leh but quite lame Haha Cant stand it.
The 2nd one was a thai ad.
Kope from some website.
Enjoy it?
Hope ya enjoy it.
*runs around the garden dancing and singing*
hard to climb,
but once you get to the top,
the view is beautiful.
Right now i m climbing a very very high and steep mountain.
By climbing this far i m more than happy.
I don't know how long do i take to climb up this mountain.
And can i climb till the top.
But I know if i fall,
I will definately be hurt deeply.
Sunday a friend told me something like this..
"Seems like everything in your life is just her"
"Everything you think and you do is for her"
I agreed totally.
She gave me a new target in life.
No matter what.
She can treat me as a good friend,
a normal friend,
or even a stranger.
I will still treat her as my girlfriend.
Becoz i love her.
Don't feel pity about me.
Don't stress her about us.
As long as you think she is good.
We are suitable for each other.
Just treat her as my girlfriend.
M i talking the right thing?
I wonder...
Went JB on monday.
Din manage to show anything for myself.
Bought a Axis tiger shoe for linus.
Bought a red colour crown jacket for Kelly.
Thats all.
Den went for a "Hakka Gong Hui Dinner" at night.
There was some bidding going on.
Quite interesting.
Imagine 5 packets of rice kena bid till RM23,000.
Power~
It was said that the 5 packet of rice contains rices from 100 house of families.
It will bless ur family for 5 generations.
This is the place where we see those rich ppl spend their $$.
And seriously i wanna go check their accounts how come they are so freaking rich.
Haha.
I was more entertain by the girls there.
Some of the girls there look aint bad.
Lookable.
Hehe.
Recently saw our ghost friend very moody like that.
Like quite sad.
Duno what happen to her.
Din wanna ask also.
Sad things affects people.
Hehe.
So if u wanna feel happy dun come here and read what i write becoz i only writes things sad things.
Haha.
Anyway our dear ghost friend is quite a friend of mine.
Although she is quite chao kuan at times.
Chut some pattern.
But thats her.
Who doesnt chut pattern.
Everyone does.
Its just the matter of how big and serious your pattern is.
Everybody makes mistakes.
I also make alot of mistakes.
Its just how you learn from your mistakes.
Some people might have some unhappiness over her.
I think some people also dun like me.
The way i do things the way i speak.
So..
To me i m neutural about her.
Sometimes might complain about it but end of the day no hard feelings.
She is someone who u can talk to at times.
Hope she is fine.
Lets enjoy some youtube movie.
First is the typical indian movie by our legendary kelvin.
Not bad leh but quite lame Haha Cant stand it.
The 2nd one was a thai ad.
Kope from some website.
Enjoy it?
Hope ya enjoy it.
*runs around the garden dancing and singing*
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Its Sunday!!
Its sunday.
Sunday is normally a super slack day.
Can u imagine i sleep and wake up sleep and wake up all the way till 3?
Haha and when i called huaky at 5+ he was still sleeping.
And Kelly also sounds she just woke up..
All so nua~
Haha
Just came back from a run since Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon 2006.
OMG i just ran like 5 rounds in the stadium and it nearly took my life..
Was out of breath for like 30mins..
Realli must train back my stamina.
IPPT coming in less then a month..
Very Stress!!
Saturday went Sentosa!!!!
But alot of kids..
Small bengs..
To see a bikini babe in Sentosa last time is so easy.
Now it was like RARE!!
Main reason? Sunset bay is gone.
Gone to EasT Coast i heard.
Duno how was it at East Coast.
Next time go see see...
Anyway also heard from huaky MOS took over the originial sunset bay and turn it into a club by the beach.
Quite nice.
The sun was good yesterday.
My whole afternoon was entertained by those kids ard me.
The things they talk.
The way they hide in the shelter.
Knowing ITS SENTOSA! and some even wore 2 clothes there.
ACT sia..
all kids shy to take off their clothes la..
But the girls in their group some wore bikini..
Sometimes its good to look at XMM.
=D~~
After sentosa they went to my house to bath and watch a video from youtube given by our legendary kelvin.
Kelvin will always give some of the cockest ideas and joke out of nothing.
He ROCKS!
Sunday is normally a super slack day.
Can u imagine i sleep and wake up sleep and wake up all the way till 3?
Haha and when i called huaky at 5+ he was still sleeping.
And Kelly also sounds she just woke up..
All so nua~
Haha
Just came back from a run since Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon 2006.
OMG i just ran like 5 rounds in the stadium and it nearly took my life..
Was out of breath for like 30mins..
Realli must train back my stamina.
IPPT coming in less then a month..
Very Stress!!
Saturday went Sentosa!!!!
But alot of kids..
Small bengs..
To see a bikini babe in Sentosa last time is so easy.
Now it was like RARE!!
Main reason? Sunset bay is gone.
Gone to EasT Coast i heard.
Duno how was it at East Coast.
Next time go see see...
Anyway also heard from huaky MOS took over the originial sunset bay and turn it into a club by the beach.
Quite nice.
The sun was good yesterday.
My whole afternoon was entertained by those kids ard me.
The things they talk.
The way they hide in the shelter.
Knowing ITS SENTOSA! and some even wore 2 clothes there.
ACT sia..
all kids shy to take off their clothes la..
But the girls in their group some wore bikini..
Sometimes its good to look at XMM.
=D~~
After sentosa they went to my house to bath and watch a video from youtube given by our legendary kelvin.
Kelvin will always give some of the cockest ideas and joke out of nothing.
He ROCKS!
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
300
$300?
300 what?
Its frank miller's movie 300.
Its about Sparta king, Leonidas lead 300 of his mens to defend his country against the persian.
300 spartan warriors + afew hundreds Thespians guard a place call the "HOT Gates" against don't know how many hundred thousands of persians. All the 300 Spartan warriors eventually gain "victory" but none survive. Why i called it "victory" ? Watch the movie you will know.
But according to history, Sparta eventually lost to the persian and tat gay guy in the movie which was the Persian king, Xerxes continue to march to his imperial ambitions.
*quote from some webby*
Amongst the greatest and most loyal soldiers in human history where the Spartans. Never was this better demonstrated then at the battle of Thermopylae. Several hundred Greeks, led by King Leonidas of Sparta and his personal body guard of three hundred Spartans, made a brave and gallant stand against a vastly larger Persian force. Only after an act of treason by a Greek, were the Persians able to surround and destroy the Spartans. Ordered to stand firm and hold the pass of Thermopylae against the Persians, the Spartans refused to retreat and were eventually defeated. But true to their orders and loyal to their king, the Spartan stand at the pass is one of the bravest accounts of men in battle.
*
The movie is good highly recommended.
Got Blood,
Got Women,
Got Breast,
Got Sex,
Got 8 packs,
Got Fighting,
Got monster,
Got Gay!
Haha..
Watch it with Kelly (Xu Qi) , Huiting (Chen Xiu Li) and Aizhen.
Kelly ate damn alot sia.
Ate KFC then Tori Q, den some Yakitori.
BTH!!
But nvm i like.
During the movie we keep disturb Aizhen.
She was like OMG the guy so FIT!!
OMG the guy so handsome!!
She must be real hungry..
Hahaha.
After the movie acompany aizhen go eat some Sakae Sushi.
Not bad got 3 girls take food for me.
Xin Fu right.
But got kelly enough hahahaha.
3 Girls and 1 Guy eat only $59 nia.
Going out with Kelly and Huiting is fun.
Just like going out with Kelly and Huaky.
Can disturb Huiting and can talk with her.
Very easily click.
After that send mum no.2 Aizhen go work.
Saw my scandal.
OMG she is pretty muahahhaha
She come and chit chat with me awhile.
Don't know why sometimes when i see kelly with the girls there i don't feel really comfortable.
SOMETIMES la.
Partly because of them she don't want to work in the day but in the night.
But as long as she is happy.
I m fine with it.
Chatted with Huiting awhile in the car.
Was telling her how disappointed i was when i heard kelly quit the day job.
But not her fault also lar..
The boss Fuck up.
Huiting also very sad.
She always wanted kelly to lead a normal life.
Doing a day job.
So she can have more time with her too.
Me too.
Hehe.
Also told her how not confident i m about me and kelly.
Because she don't want to have a boyfriend.
Partly because of her work and she still don't wants to settle down.
I m very very afriad of one thing.
One day someone very handsome very rich very good better then me come by.
And go after kelly.
And she accept him.
I comfirm will be very very sad.
But this is not within my control.
Thats fate.
I m just not good enough.
Thats how not confident i m.
Huiting just told me to jiayou.
I m just trying to do what i can to the best.
And hope if anything happens.
I don't regret.
Preparing for the worst.
Today is Junqi bday and Huaky brother bday.
So Qiao both on the same day.
Actually wanted to pass junqi present on monday one.
I forgot to bring out the present.
Then wanted to meet her today to pass her.
But meeting kelly so no time for her.
So sorry.
And she also no time for me.
Junqi is someone can say consider scandal also.
Whenever i talk to her i will feel very comfortable.
I can tell her things.
Kelly also can la.
Haha.
Last time like her but then think she too guai don't want to hurt her thats why din realli go after her.
Coz i know if i and her together i will go fling outside.
Den when she got a bf den i start to felt Ke Xi.
Stupid right.
But i think she cant satisfied my needs muahahhaha WTH right.
Finally tomorrow is back to normal working day 8-5.
Long time no work day already.
Haha Chao Keng for quite sometime already.
Time to go back work.
Work work~
300 what?
Its frank miller's movie 300.
Its about Sparta king, Leonidas lead 300 of his mens to defend his country against the persian.
300 spartan warriors + afew hundreds Thespians guard a place call the "HOT Gates" against don't know how many hundred thousands of persians. All the 300 Spartan warriors eventually gain "victory" but none survive. Why i called it "victory" ? Watch the movie you will know.
But according to history, Sparta eventually lost to the persian and tat gay guy in the movie which was the Persian king, Xerxes continue to march to his imperial ambitions.
*quote from some webby*
Amongst the greatest and most loyal soldiers in human history where the Spartans. Never was this better demonstrated then at the battle of Thermopylae. Several hundred Greeks, led by King Leonidas of Sparta and his personal body guard of three hundred Spartans, made a brave and gallant stand against a vastly larger Persian force. Only after an act of treason by a Greek, were the Persians able to surround and destroy the Spartans. Ordered to stand firm and hold the pass of Thermopylae against the Persians, the Spartans refused to retreat and were eventually defeated. But true to their orders and loyal to their king, the Spartan stand at the pass is one of the bravest accounts of men in battle.
*
The movie is good highly recommended.
Got Blood,
Got Women,
Got Breast,
Got Sex,
Got 8 packs,
Got Fighting,
Got monster,
Got Gay!
Haha..
Watch it with Kelly (Xu Qi) , Huiting (Chen Xiu Li) and Aizhen.
Kelly ate damn alot sia.
Ate KFC then Tori Q, den some Yakitori.
BTH!!
But nvm i like.
During the movie we keep disturb Aizhen.
She was like OMG the guy so FIT!!
OMG the guy so handsome!!
She must be real hungry..
Hahaha.
After the movie acompany aizhen go eat some Sakae Sushi.
Not bad got 3 girls take food for me.
Xin Fu right.
But got kelly enough hahahaha.
3 Girls and 1 Guy eat only $59 nia.
Going out with Kelly and Huiting is fun.
Just like going out with Kelly and Huaky.
Can disturb Huiting and can talk with her.
Very easily click.
After that send mum no.2 Aizhen go work.
Saw my scandal.
OMG she is pretty muahahhaha
She come and chit chat with me awhile.
Don't know why sometimes when i see kelly with the girls there i don't feel really comfortable.
SOMETIMES la.
Partly because of them she don't want to work in the day but in the night.
But as long as she is happy.
I m fine with it.
Chatted with Huiting awhile in the car.
Was telling her how disappointed i was when i heard kelly quit the day job.
But not her fault also lar..
The boss Fuck up.
Huiting also very sad.
She always wanted kelly to lead a normal life.
Doing a day job.
So she can have more time with her too.
Me too.
Hehe.
Also told her how not confident i m about me and kelly.
Because she don't want to have a boyfriend.
Partly because of her work and she still don't wants to settle down.
I m very very afriad of one thing.
One day someone very handsome very rich very good better then me come by.
And go after kelly.
And she accept him.
I comfirm will be very very sad.
But this is not within my control.
Thats fate.
I m just not good enough.
Thats how not confident i m.
Huiting just told me to jiayou.
I m just trying to do what i can to the best.
And hope if anything happens.
I don't regret.
Preparing for the worst.
Today is Junqi bday and Huaky brother bday.
So Qiao both on the same day.
Actually wanted to pass junqi present on monday one.
I forgot to bring out the present.
Then wanted to meet her today to pass her.
But meeting kelly so no time for her.
So sorry.
And she also no time for me.
Junqi is someone can say consider scandal also.
Whenever i talk to her i will feel very comfortable.
I can tell her things.
Kelly also can la.
Haha.
Last time like her but then think she too guai don't want to hurt her thats why din realli go after her.
Coz i know if i and her together i will go fling outside.
Den when she got a bf den i start to felt Ke Xi.
Stupid right.
But i think she cant satisfied my needs muahahhaha WTH right.
Finally tomorrow is back to normal working day 8-5.
Long time no work day already.
Haha Chao Keng for quite sometime already.
Time to go back work.
Work work~
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Friends...
Everyone has their own problems..
Its just not me alone..
Like for Kong,
Can see he is happy he finally got the girl he loved (ofcoz with some help of ours)
But the way he is spending is not right.
I mean he hasnt got himself a job yet.
And She is spending alot of $ of his.
As usual i will be the bad guy this time.
Sianrong?
After getting his 1.8k job.
He become so hao lian.
Sounds so rich?
I earned that amount 1 year ago.
Just becoz u earn abit more than others doesnt mean u have to be like that.
Maybe you don't care what others think.
But if we don't treat you as our friends we won't even bother.
Maybe we are wrong.
Maybe we are not.
That doesnt matter.
Jia hua and Hao yun?
They are getting along fine.
Just that he hasnt really settle down what he really wants to do.
He has afew choices but hasnt decided on which.
Sometimes i wonder..
Is he learning things from me or i m learning things from him.
Haha.
V Goh?
As usual.
Work work work.
Ever since he went into unit he seems to changed.
Change for the better?
I m not sure.
But one thing i know is less than 1 year to ORD for him.
But whats after ORD?
I see alot of people after ORD very lost.
Don't know what to do.
Where to start from.
Aizhen..
My neighbour in sengkang.
She is like the last time me.
Like to care about everything.
Everything also she know.
And she is very hungry.
Hungry for what?
Love.
I also quite hungry already..
Haha!
For some people,
When you have it,
You don't want it.
When you don't have it,
You need it.
She has been working in nightlife for sometime.
As a friend i always wanted to ask her.
How long more do you want to work there?
Have you think of what you want in the future?
Or be a Tai Tai like most singapore girls dream of..
Kelly?
My dearest,
My love ones.
There are so many holes to fill up in her life,
But she doesnt know which to start with.
And she is still deciding.
But don't worry i m here.
I will fill it up one by one.
And by the time u notice,
Its all filled up.
Hehe.
Its just not me alone..
Like for Kong,
Can see he is happy he finally got the girl he loved (ofcoz with some help of ours)
But the way he is spending is not right.
I mean he hasnt got himself a job yet.
And She is spending alot of $ of his.
As usual i will be the bad guy this time.
Sianrong?
After getting his 1.8k job.
He become so hao lian.
Sounds so rich?
I earned that amount 1 year ago.
Just becoz u earn abit more than others doesnt mean u have to be like that.
Maybe you don't care what others think.
But if we don't treat you as our friends we won't even bother.
Maybe we are wrong.
Maybe we are not.
That doesnt matter.
Jia hua and Hao yun?
They are getting along fine.
Just that he hasnt really settle down what he really wants to do.
He has afew choices but hasnt decided on which.
Sometimes i wonder..
Is he learning things from me or i m learning things from him.
Haha.
V Goh?
As usual.
Work work work.
Ever since he went into unit he seems to changed.
Change for the better?
I m not sure.
But one thing i know is less than 1 year to ORD for him.
But whats after ORD?
I see alot of people after ORD very lost.
Don't know what to do.
Where to start from.
Aizhen..
My neighbour in sengkang.
She is like the last time me.
Like to care about everything.
Everything also she know.
And she is very hungry.
Hungry for what?
Love.
I also quite hungry already..
Haha!
For some people,
When you have it,
You don't want it.
When you don't have it,
You need it.
She has been working in nightlife for sometime.
As a friend i always wanted to ask her.
How long more do you want to work there?
Have you think of what you want in the future?
Or be a Tai Tai like most singapore girls dream of..
Kelly?
My dearest,
My love ones.
There are so many holes to fill up in her life,
But she doesnt know which to start with.
And she is still deciding.
But don't worry i m here.
I will fill it up one by one.
And by the time u notice,
Its all filled up.
Hehe.
Some feelings
Last Week..
Went out with her..
Suddenly she is so good to me..
Also dun understand why..
Sometimes I think..
M I too good to everyone?
Or I m stupid?
People seems to take advantage of me..
Or not..
I also duno whats going on between me and her…
We are like couples but not couples..
I m very confused..
It seems so nature in her..
I don't know what is coming next month..
I don't dare to face the next month..
I m just living my life day by day..
She is my only support now..
I feel like giving up…
Should I or should I not…
It seems hopeless now..
She finally found a job..
And 3 days later she lost that job..
Its a good job..
Its gives us some light..
She is leading normal life right now..
I m so happy for her..
But when i was told she quited the job..
And going back to work in Wild again.
Its like back to square one.
I m so disappointed..
Very disappointed..
Of all jobs why go back again?
Is there any future there?
Yes the pay is high.
Friends are there.
Its fun.
Boss is good.
But have they think about your future.
Its not their future.
Its your future.
How long do you want to work there?
I m not saying the place is bad.
Maybe its time to think about your own future.
I know you are thinking about it everyday.
How long more do you want to lead this kind of life.
Everybody wants to enjoy life.
But thats life.
But there is no one to blame..
UPs and DOWNs.
Its part and parcel of life.
She will come and find me..
She will sms me..
She will disturb me..
She will talk to me about her plans..
She will ask my opinion..
But will she love me?
I Really want to take care of her..
She is so similar to me..
The door doesn’t seems to open for me.
Its always closed.
I don’t mind.
I will keep on trying.
There no light ahead.
No Future ahead.
Just pure waiting.
Should I ask her about it?
Should I confront her about it?
Today I woke up.
Suddenly something struck my mind.
Do I have any future with her?
I want to build a future together with her.
Maybe i should just wait till the door is open.
Im just afriad of losing.
I have been losing all my life.
Im afriad one day.
Someone better comes alot and strikes her to open the door.
And she is gone.
But what to do.
These are some things i cant do anything to change it.
Only person to blame is myself.
Haha..
Went out with her..
Suddenly she is so good to me..
Also dun understand why..
Sometimes I think..
M I too good to everyone?
Or I m stupid?
People seems to take advantage of me..
Or not..
I also duno whats going on between me and her…
We are like couples but not couples..
I m very confused..
It seems so nature in her..
I don't know what is coming next month..
I don't dare to face the next month..
I m just living my life day by day..
She is my only support now..
I feel like giving up…
Should I or should I not…
It seems hopeless now..
She finally found a job..
And 3 days later she lost that job..
Its a good job..
Its gives us some light..
She is leading normal life right now..
I m so happy for her..
But when i was told she quited the job..
And going back to work in Wild again.
Its like back to square one.
I m so disappointed..
Very disappointed..
Of all jobs why go back again?
Is there any future there?
Yes the pay is high.
Friends are there.
Its fun.
Boss is good.
But have they think about your future.
Its not their future.
Its your future.
How long do you want to work there?
I m not saying the place is bad.
Maybe its time to think about your own future.
I know you are thinking about it everyday.
How long more do you want to lead this kind of life.
Everybody wants to enjoy life.
But thats life.
But there is no one to blame..
UPs and DOWNs.
Its part and parcel of life.
She will come and find me..
She will sms me..
She will disturb me..
She will talk to me about her plans..
She will ask my opinion..
But will she love me?
I Really want to take care of her..
She is so similar to me..
The door doesn’t seems to open for me.
Its always closed.
I don’t mind.
I will keep on trying.
There no light ahead.
No Future ahead.
Just pure waiting.
Should I ask her about it?
Should I confront her about it?
Today I woke up.
Suddenly something struck my mind.
Do I have any future with her?
I want to build a future together with her.
Maybe i should just wait till the door is open.
Im just afriad of losing.
I have been losing all my life.
Im afriad one day.
Someone better comes alot and strikes her to open the door.
And she is gone.
But what to do.
These are some things i cant do anything to change it.
Only person to blame is myself.
Haha..
Things i wanted to say but i dun have the chance to..
Do you know before I met you, I m just toying with me life?
Everyday I m thinking how to get myself killed.
Trying ways to get myself killed.
Hoping one day I will drink till I die or even get killed by crossing the road.
I m very tired and sick of my life, my family.
Everything seems so messed up within me.
I may seem very good from the outside but actually inside me is not everyday.
Till the day I met you. You gave me life.
I suddenly saw a light.
A new way of life.
I know you are a playful and a good girl.
You can do things for your friends.
You can sacrifice your sleeping time for them.
You have fun with your friends around.
I understand.
People asked me why I like you.
I don’t know how to answer.
I believe when you like someone.
You don’t need a reason.
I can see your heart.
I can feel your heart.
You have a good heart.
You think about your own future.
You said you are waiting for a chance to drop by so that you can grab it.
I created a chance for you.
But u missed it once again.
You said you wanted to save money.
I sacrifice my sleeping time everyday just to pick up you to work and after work.
So that you won’t have to take cab everyday and have more rest time.
I will wake up every night at 3.30am to check on my phone to check did you call or message me.
Incase you need me.
I will make sure I will be there for you always.
I never complain about it.
No Regrets at all.
I know I m not rich.
But what I can do is to give you whatever I have so that I can make you free from worries.
I rather eat less, play less and spend the money on you then others.
I know you wish to have some stuff.
I promise they will be yours very soon.
Whatever I do I just want to make you happy.
I m very happy you are not rejecting my love for you.
And kind to give in to me at times.
I know sometimes I did things u doesn’t like.
But I din mean it.
I m just trying to make things better for you.
But I believe its part and parcel of a relationship.
We learn about each other.
There are bounds to be quarrel, argument and fights.
It’s just how we handle it.
I told myself before.
I don’t want my future family to be like mine.
I m someone who doesn’t know how to sweet talk.
A lot of times I don’t know how to put my feelings in words to you.
The only thing I can show you is my love and care through action.
I never expected you to love me like me or accept me.
I just hope you give yourself a chance.
I don’t care what’s in the past.
The past is the past.
What is most important is the future.
I really hope we can build a future together.
Our future.
I know you won’t have a chance to see this message.
Maybe when you see this message I won’t be around anymore.
That doesn’t matter.
What matter most is…
I Love you…
Its not to be seen by the naked eyes.
Everyday I m thinking how to get myself killed.
Trying ways to get myself killed.
Hoping one day I will drink till I die or even get killed by crossing the road.
I m very tired and sick of my life, my family.
Everything seems so messed up within me.
I may seem very good from the outside but actually inside me is not everyday.
Till the day I met you. You gave me life.
I suddenly saw a light.
A new way of life.
I know you are a playful and a good girl.
You can do things for your friends.
You can sacrifice your sleeping time for them.
You have fun with your friends around.
I understand.
People asked me why I like you.
I don’t know how to answer.
I believe when you like someone.
You don’t need a reason.
I can see your heart.
I can feel your heart.
You have a good heart.
You think about your own future.
You said you are waiting for a chance to drop by so that you can grab it.
I created a chance for you.
But u missed it once again.
You said you wanted to save money.
I sacrifice my sleeping time everyday just to pick up you to work and after work.
So that you won’t have to take cab everyday and have more rest time.
I will wake up every night at 3.30am to check on my phone to check did you call or message me.
Incase you need me.
I will make sure I will be there for you always.
I never complain about it.
No Regrets at all.
I know I m not rich.
But what I can do is to give you whatever I have so that I can make you free from worries.
I rather eat less, play less and spend the money on you then others.
I know you wish to have some stuff.
I promise they will be yours very soon.
Whatever I do I just want to make you happy.
I m very happy you are not rejecting my love for you.
And kind to give in to me at times.
I know sometimes I did things u doesn’t like.
But I din mean it.
I m just trying to make things better for you.
But I believe its part and parcel of a relationship.
We learn about each other.
There are bounds to be quarrel, argument and fights.
It’s just how we handle it.
I told myself before.
I don’t want my future family to be like mine.
I m someone who doesn’t know how to sweet talk.
A lot of times I don’t know how to put my feelings in words to you.
The only thing I can show you is my love and care through action.
I never expected you to love me like me or accept me.
I just hope you give yourself a chance.
I don’t care what’s in the past.
The past is the past.
What is most important is the future.
I really hope we can build a future together.
Our future.
I know you won’t have a chance to see this message.
Maybe when you see this message I won’t be around anymore.
That doesn’t matter.
What matter most is…
I Love you…
Its not to be seen by the naked eyes.
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